Random writing thoughts

I've been thinking a lot about all my WIPs lately. The first manuscript I wrote (as an adult) was a contemporary romance. I actually completed it and felt it was a good book at the time. And then I started studying craft. Then I thought it was garbage.

As I look through it now I realize it's not garbage at all. Much of the prose is lovely, the characters are pretty well-rounded and believable, sure there are a few romance cliches, but I was a new romance reader when I wrote it and that kind of stuff can be edited out fairly easily. No. I didn't write garbage. What I wrote was a manuscript with very little plot and no real conflict. I'm getting better, but those two things are still my weaknesses.

I've started a couple of other stories with characters from this manuscript and they feel promising to me. I actually worked on one of them for NaNo and I liked it very much.

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The second manuscript I tried to write is a historical romance. It's the only manuscript I've ever pre-plotted. I love the characters and the plot is actually very good, I just lost interest in writing it because I know what's going to happen now. Yes, this is stupid, but I'm an organic writer. All you plotters out there feel free to berate me, but it's just how I am.

I still would like to complete this manuscript because this is the only one that has a real plot! Sort of good news-bad news, huh? The good news is it has an actual plot that works. The bad news is it will be very boring for you to write it because it does. Sigh.

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And there's my Fantasy... Oh, my heart aches to think about it, the book of my heart. I love the protagonist and the supporting cast. I love the setting. I love her world, the traditions, the magic, everything. Why, oh why can't I make the plot work? What's wrong with me?

I put a lot of pressure on myself to write this one. It feels like the most important thing I've ever written. I've written the beginning (which later turned out to be the end--go figure) a new beginning, chunks of the middle and the end. It still needs more middle. I haven't written any of this story for at least 6 months. I was starting to drive myself crazy with it and it was tearing me up inside, so I set it aside for a while. Hopefully my subconscious is working on it little by little and when I go back to it, I'll be ready to complete it. Hear that Muses? I'm counting on you--all four of you!

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Writing is something that I'm driven to do--it's a calling. I'm not like some people who like to write anything just to be writing. I can write a great research paper, a motivational speech, etc., but it doesn't make my heart sing. I could never be a journalist or feel fulfilled writing non-fiction. It's not my thing. Even writing this Blog... it's okay, but it's not great. I don't pour myself into it like I do a manuscript. Blogging is mainly to have a place of my own on the net, communicate with friends, etc, but it's not a representation of my writing style at all. When I become published, I'll have to start a real serious author blog, cuz this ain't it. This is just for me.