Dogs, Dogs, Dogs

Since my baby Kiki passed away last Friday--I can't believe it's been a whole week--my days have been filled of thoughts of dogs. My after-work evenings have been spent looking for dogs to adopt on the internet, filling out adoption applications, speaking with rescue owners, visiting animal shelters...

We all grieve in different ways. I talked to a woman who said her dog passed away 3 years ago and her husband still isn't ready to get a new one. Ditto for another person who had lost her pup 6 months ago. But us? We need a dog (or dogs) in the house. We don't have children and the cat comes and goes as he pleases. We still keep looking for her when we come home, still have her bowls out...my husband saved her the little corner of his sandwich yesterday and forgot she wasn't there to eat it. (That was their thing.)

Someone asked me if I wanted to wait and get past my grief first. She didn't seem to understand that I'll never get past my grief. It fades and comes less often, but it's always there below the surface. She asked me if I felt guilty replacing my dog. I am not replacing her. No dog could ever take the place of my little Kiki, of Kilroy or Dotty or Louisa--no dog, cat, animal or human could do that. I carry all my pets with me in my heart. What she didn't seem to understand is that our house is empty now and I need another dog to share my life with. I've never wanted children, but I assume it's like this when a woman decides she wants to have a baby. It's all-consuming.

I'm a little excited, but trying not to get my hopes up. We are going to set up a meeting tomorrow with 2 English Bulldog/American Bulldog mixes--a boy and a girl who are friends. If we all like each other, we can adopt them both. They are already friends and we'd be keeping them together and that makes me really happy. Please meet Lulu. Doesn't her silly bulldog grin just make you smile?

Blogger's doing weird stuff, so I'll post Jefferson's photo in the next one.

Current Mood: up and down, but feeling up just this minute