Niki

Today and yesterday have been incredibly hard. We see little bits of Niki everywhere. Her bed (which is old and worn and I forced my husband to throw away), her toys (which we ended up burying all but one of them with her), her fur (Gah! She's an Akita. We'll be finding that for months), her bowls (still sitting full in the kitchen), her hotdogs (in the fridge--for taking her pills), her vitamins, a new bag of unopened food, etc., etc., etc.

My husband found it hard to have an uninterrupted night's sleep last night. Since I sleep like the dead, she always woke him up in the middle of the night to be let out. I looked for her when I opened the fridge, because she'd always come running. Ditto on when we came home from the store last night. ::sigh::

The expression "It's better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all" is true, but there's nothing easy about it. I miss my baby.

Current mood: melancholy